i can’t believe i bump into kevjumba randomly in nyc. like where did you come from. hahah
If my future spouse can sing, I’ll be living in paradise. ahh. baby, hit them falsetto spots. sing me to bed.
I’ve receive an opportunity to blog professional for a network promoting health. Although, I’m a bit nervous for the fact that the majority of the people I saw this morning were already college graduates or still in college. All of the interns there, have their mind set on majoring in English or some sort of writing related field. Did I mention I graduate high school a day ago. It’s mix of feeling honor and scared to fuck up. Everyone there seem established and already with a plan with what direction to go. The HR lady told me, since I’m younger and base on my resume I’ll give a different perspective when blogging. Perhaps, I’m just under-estimating myself but I scared. I didn’t accept their offer yet because I don’t want to seem like that young new person that doesn’t know what he’s writing. Some thoughts should be considered rather than just if I’m scared or not.
Hellolife, is the name of this network.
the more i wash my hair, the more brown it becomes.
Con muốn cám ơn mẹ vì đã nuôi dưỡng con 17 năm qua. Con rất cảm kích sự quan tâm và nổ lực mẹ dành cho con. Những việc mẹ làm hằng ngày, như đánh thức con dạy đi học, làm coffee cho con, hay dặn con dọn phòng, con biết là con có vẻ như không quan tâm, nhưng thật sự là con có. Mẹ là tác động lớn trong cuộc đời con, vì đạo đức và những tính tốt con học được từ mẹ. Đôi khi, thật khó để nói cho mẹ những gì con muốn nói vì con không biết nhiều tiếng việt. Vì thế, thay vì cố gắng nói gì đó, con chỉ im lặng mà thôi. Con cảm giác như có 1 lá chắn giữa con và mẹ. Tuy nhiên, con hiểu tất cả những gì mẹ nói. Con biết mẹ cố gắng dạy bảo con để con trở nên thành công và có tri thức, và để con có thể giúp đỡ gia đình mình một ngày nào đó. Con muốn mẹ biết là con yêu thương mẹ, với tất cả những gì mẹ đã hi sinh vì con. Và sự che chở của mẹ dành cho con sẽ theo con mãi.
I want to say thankyou for raising me up these 17 years. I appreciate the amount of care and effort you put into me. Through every daily activities for like, like waking me up for school and making me coffee or reminding to clean my room. I know I may not show like I care, but I really do appreciate it. You’re a big impact in my life, because my moral and virtues are learned from you. Sometimes, it’s difficult to tell you what I want to say because I don’t know vietnamese really well. So, instead of trying to say it - I don’t say anything at all. I feel like it’s a barrier between us, but I do understand everything you say. I know when you’re trying to raise me to become successful and educated so I can support my own family some day. I want you to know, that I love you with every struggle you must sacrifice for me. That with every wonderful way you cared for me will be a part of me forever.
Dear Alexis Keo,
I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your existence. I really do. I’m blessed to know someone like you and someone who can read in between my words. For being able to read in between my words, I’m grateful that you have really saved me a few times. For the amount of random calls asking what to do. You have no idea how many times your words just happen to break me, but in a way that it makes me hold on just a bit tighter and it keeps me alive and here. That is why I’ll say you have made a difference in my life and words do really mean a lot to me, especially from someone like you. I know we have only get to talked from time to time, but I still know and appreciate the fact that you even take the time out to chat with me. You seem always busy, but when we do talk we catch up on a lot of things. You’re someone I could open up to, every thought process. I love you Alexis, and I mean that with the most sincere feelings. I feel completely myself with you, no words could articulate how I value our friendship. You are a really wonderful person that I hold dearest to even though it does not seem like it. So, thank you. Thank you for everything you have really, really done and more. Thank you for catching me at my worst even if you don’t noticed that you do, but just simple words that can mean so much in the moment. Just, thank you.
You love her, but she loved you. And at night you struggle to bring yourself to halt your train of thoughts about her, the same night she spends with another man somewhere in this city, on his bed -not yours, but his- screaming his fucking name as he gives it to her. You love her. You wanted to spend your whole life with this woman, but life fancies plot twists and disappointments and it is your turn to suffer the consequences. She loved you. Bittersweet longings have never felt so familiar.
You called me with your voice trembling and you were on the edge of tears, but I felt nothing. I felt nothing with you because you cried wolf so many times with me. You told me you wanted me to tell you I loved you, but how could I when I don’t mean it. You threaten you would kill yourself if I didn’t react to you or if I felt anything towards you. I stayed on the phone until then. I didn’t believe you would slit your throat with a knife, but your voice sounded different that night. I didn’t believe you. You knew I couldn’t reciprocate your feelings, especially for the fact that I was completely numb and I couldn’t feel anything towards anyone. You cried and begged me to love you, and I said I couldn’t again and again. I still remember it to this very day. The sound of your voice and how terribly broken you felt. I couldn’t keep you in salvation. I couldn’t save you when I didn’t mean anything. I could have lied and said I love you, but I couldn’t. You told me you were going to pull the last string of hope if I didn’t feel the same and I asked you why are you doing this, when this isn’t what I need or want for the both of us. It been exactly four years now. Today marked the fourth year and you disappear and it leaves me completely in awe how you really attempt suicide through the phone with me because you claimed you were in love with me, but I think you were completely vulnerable and thought I could satisfy you. You were young and so was I. I remember sobbing terribly after hearing that you attempted suicide and how your mother yelled at me for doing this to you because I was the last person you called. I told her I didn’t feel the same because feelings can’t be force for the hell of it and she didn’t understand. She slapped me a few times, and I stood still to endure the pain because there was a point I thought it was my fault. It’s been years now, and I think your mother don’t understand. She just didn’t and even up to this day, I still haven’t spoken a word to your mother because she stopped contacting me after 8 months. And I feel terrible for something that is beyond my control and I still feel the weight burdening on me. I didn’t know that would happen, I was young. I need to feel like if I wasn’t cold-hearted or if I wasn’t as cruel and maybe if I lied, you wouldn’t have done something like that. How could I be so honest and cruel all at once to someone who’s so vulnerable? How could I be. And even up to this day, I’m still sorry to you. I’m sorry.
i don’t get it.
i’m baaaaaaaaaack.
